>>>READ THIS WAY>>>
Waaaa…it ended!TT3TT Thank you very much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the story and the artwork was interesting to look at. Thanks for everyone who faved the pages and even more thanks for people who commented on most (or all!) pages.*bows* I really appreciate your support.
Myself, I’m satisfied with the story and the ending.^^ I’m content with all the pages and think that I couldn’t have done the project any better than this. I changed the storyline a lot in the end because I wanted to avoid clichés and too sappy endings but like I said, I think it’s good like this. It (hopefully) leaves the reader satisfied but still gives a chance for a sequel.
Reviewers, notice this!
Also, if you write a long review, please read the whole comic once through to get a proper hold of it.^^ That’s all.
If you’re not able to write a dA Critique you can simply make a long rant comment, I’m not too picky about those. Feedback is welcome in all ways, nevertheless.
This comic is pretty old by now (I finished it
Thanks once more! Hopefully you had fun and are gonna read more of my stuff later on.
Read again? Page 1: elizarush.deviantart.com/art/O…
The story continues in blog! Ask-ObiKaka in tumblr
Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto
story & art (c) elizarush [me]
I always find it difficult to critique on the vision, i don't know if it reflects a Theme or Idea well >< ... what would the Theme be? friendship? love? ... in that case, yes it does reflect it really well. it's believable, you can relate to the story. Love doesn't appear in a mere second it has to grow; which is what you showed here. Obito and Kakashi liked each other for YEARS! and they never told each other until they were 18. this is how things generally go. when you fall in love with your best friend you don't blare a love confession, no, you worry. because admitting your feelings could mean losing him even as a friend. (been there XD) and i think you portrayed that worry quite well. Neither Kakashi nor Obito thought of confessing at the start, they struggled with themselves but they'd never say it out loud. not that soon anyway. so well done!
for Originality.... god, you know i'd give you a high rate! XD this is THE FIRST Obikaka doujinshi i ever had the pleasure of reading. just THAT would entitle you to Originality-trophy of the year.
And not only that but the way the story proceeds. the way you kept Obito alive; your version was creative and believable. it could have happened like that in the real thing. -and i wish it had- and Obito is one creative bugger with you lol the way he very slowly pushes Kakashi, creeping himself closer and closer into the man's plastic bubble is just amazing. it fits his personality in my view. Obito is a difficult character to portray simply for the reason that he doesn't appear a lot. a lot of people either make him scarily similar to Naruto or somehow let his personality make a 180 turn and make him similar to Sasuke. but i like the way you portray him; he's blunt but not too blunt (like Naru.) he sneaks a bit more and argues with himself (like Sasuke). you found a midway, and i like this version of him a lot.
For technique, like you said; we can see your progress. we saw how you struggled with some characters at the start and along the way grew custom to them and made your own version. like Kakashi i lost count of how many times you admitted you cursed him and we could see you struggled sometimes but further on he seemed a lot easier for you to portray. especially his emotions. thanks to his appearance Kakashi is a master at hiding his feelings; so drawing them is just as (if not more) difficult. but you did great! we could tell how he felt even if he hides 24/7. same with Minato and Rin; you got better with them with every page that passed. with Obito.. i don't know; weirdly i always found him to just flow on you pages like he was so easy for you to draw. of course with him i also saw change and you got better at drawing him as well but i just always found him to be really good; drawn by your hand.
now Impact; did the story provoke emotions on our end? ... Hell yeah! god... i got so caught up in the story it was amazing. i knew how the characters felt and i could feel all the struggling and sadness, happiness...anything. all the feelings the characters felt; they were just so well portrayed, and everything helped with that. you made everything fit like a glove; emotions, expressions, scenery, actions.. they all went a long with one another. and it result in a great story. a great story that caught all of us to follow it from beginning to end. nagging you for more every single day. ^^
more proof how much we loved it XD i honestly am really excited to see how the sequel will go.
i'm not the type of person to give a top rating; it's like you say yourself "there is no such thing like perfection, there's always room for improvent."
so i didn't give you 5 stars every time don't worry about it! i still loved it.
Thank you for making it relatively clean and letting emotions and downright sweetness take center stage! Even those iffy scenes were still fun and not overly sexual.
As far as art, the only thing I really noticed is that their heads almost always look to big for their bodies and many characters look younger than they actually are.
I think this was really excellent doujinshi! I could clearly see improvement over the course of doujinshi. I think in the end your anatomy skills, shading and things like got really good thinking the first pages of this doujinshi.
And now about the story: I absolute loved it and I found it quite cute how Kakashi's and Obito's relationship did grow over the time. At times I felt slightly frustrated about Obito's stupid-ness but I guess that's just the part he is; goofy and rambling always before getting into the point. I loved how awkwardly Kakashi did go with Obito until he got enough comfortable, so they both could confess and be content what they're. I also liked how you included the duo taking care of Sasuke and Naruto. I found it just too adorable and if you're ever going to continue this, I believe those two little ones won't be like they're in canon thanks to Obito and Kakashi. Uuuh! I just loved this to pieces, lol. I hope my review was at least some of use, because I'm at the moment a bit fangirl-mode, mainly because all the cute moments in this but also the emotions, that you portrayed quite well. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, yet those two really made it! ^^