Hmm my first critique have no idea what people really put in these :/ But how could i not rate this 5 stars for everything? I've loved this whole doujin each page is drawn amazingly. i love how you've shown their relationship grow. How you left the kiss close to the end. I love how detailed some of the things are such as the scarf on this page. Love that you've incorporated things like this scarf to show their relationship. Love how it's starts with team Minanto how it didn't go straight into the relationship. showing how obito survived the pain he went through ect made this so much better then a simple obikaka doujin. How you showed their relationship at different ages Kids - still tease (cry baby) guilt but friendship. You showed the happy kids turning to emotional teens in the war. love kakashi quote "i'm not very good at crying." Obito - "of cause your not." kakashi - "but i did cry when you were dieing." again their relationship growing. the buying of the scarfs, babysitting, arguments "the gap between us has barely shrunk at all. it's always the same." make up hugs. training together and joining the police force. bed sharing and hand holding. impluse kiss on the mask! little sasuke "eww obito-nii druled on your mask" naruto "hahaa obito-nii likes kakashi! doesn't he?" of cause the kids knew before kakashi and obito... hmmm am i rambling... well i'll end it with it was amazing and journey of emotions

well this will be my second DAcritique. funny how both are for you ^^

I always find it difficult to critique on the vision, i don't know if it reflects a Theme or Idea well >< ... what would the Theme be? friendship? love? ... in that case, yes it does reflect it really well. it's believable, you can relate to the story. Love doesn't appear in a mere second it has to grow; which is what you showed here. Obito and Kakashi liked each other for YEARS! and they never told each other until they were 18. this is how things generally go. when you fall in love with your best friend you don't blare a love confession, no, you worry. because admitting your feelings could mean losing him even as a friend. (been there XD) and i think you portrayed that worry quite well. Neither Kakashi nor Obito thought of confessing at the start, they struggled with themselves but they'd never say it out loud. not that soon anyway. so well done!

for Originality.... god, you know i'd give you a high rate! XD this is THE FIRST Obikaka doujinshi i ever had the pleasure of reading. just THAT would entitle you to Originality-trophy of the year.
And not only that but the way the story proceeds. the way you kept Obito alive; your version was creative and believable. it could have happened like that in the real thing. -and i wish it had- and Obito is one creative bugger with you lol the way he very slowly pushes Kakashi, creeping himself closer and closer into the man's plastic bubble is just amazing. it fits his personality in my view. Obito is a difficult character to portray simply for the reason that he doesn't appear a lot. a lot of people either make him scarily similar to Naruto or somehow let his personality make a 180 turn and make him similar to Sasuke. but i like the way you portray him; he's blunt but not too blunt (like Naru.) he sneaks a bit more and argues with himself (like Sasuke). you found a midway, and i like this version of him a lot.

For technique, like you said; we can see your progress. we saw how you struggled with some characters at the start and along the way grew custom to them and made your own version. like Kakashi i lost count of how many times you admitted you cursed him and we could see you struggled sometimes but further on he seemed a lot easier for you to portray. especially his emotions. thanks to his appearance Kakashi is a master at hiding his feelings; so drawing them is just as (if not more) difficult. but you did great! we could tell how he felt even if he hides 24/7. same with Minato and Rin; you got better with them with every page that passed. with Obito.. i don't know; weirdly i always found him to just flow on you pages like he was so easy for you to draw. of course with him i also saw change and you got better at drawing him as well but i just always found him to be really good; drawn by your hand.

now Impact; did the story provoke emotions on our end? ... Hell yeah! god... i got so caught up in the story it was amazing. i knew how the characters felt and i could feel all the struggling and sadness, happiness...anything. all the feelings the characters felt; they were just so well portrayed, and everything helped with that. you made everything fit like a glove; emotions, expressions, scenery, actions.. they all went a long with one another. and it result in a great story. a great story that caught all of us to follow it from beginning to end. nagging you for more every single day. ^^

more proof how much we loved it XD i honestly am really excited to see how the sequel will go.
i'm not the type of person to give a top rating; it's like you say yourself "there is no such thing like perfection, there's always room for improvent."
so i didn't give you 5 stars every time don't worry about it! i still loved it.